GOVERNMENT INITIATIVE TO REPATRIATE IMMIGRANTS DECLARED “UNSOUND”

The Home Office has received criticism for its recent attempt to repatriate illegal immigrants

Immigration Watchdog ImCom has issued a statement calling the recent initiative to post immigrants back to their country of origin “unsound at best”, citing the price of stamps as “just one of the thousands of reasons this wouldn’t work”.

The statement went on to question the thinking behind the initiative, asking “really? Who came up with this nonsense?” and requesting the name of “whatever dope y’all be smoking”.

The initative, nicknamed Fed-ExPats, called for illegal immigrants to report to their local Post Office, where they would be packaged in a Jiffy envelope and posted back to their home country.

The Home Secretary, James Drake, has defended the idea.

“You think of something better, then”, challenged Mr Drake.

Illegal immigrants were unavailable for comment.

The Numbers

  • Too many – the number of illegal immigrants in the UK
  • Six or sometimes twelve – the number of stamps in a book
  • Not enough – what I get paid
  • Four – the number of bullet points in this list
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