MAN LOSES BOTH ARMS IN CAR CRASH

“I don’t understand, I put them right here!” moaned Derek Hennard, 27.

Mr Hennard of Lower Quiffley claims to have lost both of his arms in a four-car pileup on the M6. 

He and his girlfriend were en route to a friend’s wedding when the collision took place and Hennard realised he had lost both of his arms.

Witnesses claim that he “patted both his back pockets” and “looked perplexed”.

Girlfriend Brenda Moor was unharmed in the accident, and is in full possession of her limbs. Moor claims this is due to her making a list each time they go away for the weekend.

“If you make a list, you’re much less likely to lose things” advised Ms. Moor.

Sources state that Ms. Moor has repeatedly advised Mr Hennard to keep a similar list, but Hennard was always too stubborn and now look where it’s got him.

Reports claim that Hennard “retraced his steps” and “furrowed his brow” in an attempt to reunite his arms with his body.

Experts say when asked where he had his arms last, Hennard snapped “If I knew that, they wouldn’t be lost”.

More on this story as it develops.

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