BREAKING NEWS: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH GAY

“I’m out and I’m proud” reveals Sherlock star.

“I have been in a loving relationship with Martin Freeman since we met on the set of Sherlock all those years ago.”

The news will come as a blow to the many “Cumberbitches” who find Benedict heinously attractive.

“Before you ask,” continued the star “no, I don’t call him Watson in bed. And he doesn’t call me Sherlock. I call him Bilbo and he refers to me as Smaug the Terrible.”

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