“MAJORITY” OF WARDROBES CONTAIN “TWO OR THREE” MONSTERS

A new report published by the Sleepwell Foundation has revealed that the majority of wardrobes contain monsters.


“At least 70% of wardrobes contain, on average, two or three monsters” stated Dr. Craig O’Donell of the Sleepwell Foundation last week.

“Rarely, a wardrobe may contain up to six monsters, hiding in the shadows between clothes. The odds of having monsters in your wardrobe are directly proportional to the number of creaks you hear in an average night, so keep your ears open!” chuckled the doctor morbidly.

Robert Powell is a monster detector, working with the Sleepwell Foundtion to help identify the monsters found in wardrobes. At the press conference yesterday, he listed the monsters one could expect to find in a wardrobe.

“You got your alicorns, your banshees, your chimaeras, your cambions, your dhampirs, your jackalopes, your kibalois. Hell, I even found a kraken once!”

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