SENATE REACHES DEAL ON DEBT CEILING

Sources say “Pokemon cards changed hands”.

After weeks of negotiations, the US Senate has reached an agreement on raising the debt ceiling, although the House of Representatives is yet to agree.

Sources close to the Senate report that the deal was only reached because the mothers of the Senators stepped in and “made the boys shake hands like grown ups”.

The deal was arrived at after hours of tense negotiations, a partial transcript of which follows below:

Harry Reid: “So if I give you my Bulbosaur card AND a packet of Hershey’s Kisses, will you promise – pinky promise – to give me your best Beyblades?”

– Silence. The Senate holds its breath. –

Mitch McConell: “Maybe.”

HR: “What else could you want, dingus?”

MM: “You have to tell me who you like.”

HR: “I don’t like anybody.”

MM: “You sure do! I’ve seen you staring at Michelle Oba-“

HR: “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP”

A decision is expected to be reached in the House of Representatives within the next few hours if the Democrats are willing to give away half their Yu-Gi-Oh card collection.

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