BREAKING NEWS: AUSTRALIAN BUSH FIRES MERGE TO FORM THE WORDS ”FUCK YOU”

In a shocking development, a series of bush fires currently raging in Australia have merged to form a giant ‘fuck you’ of flames on the landscape.

The words can be seen “shockingly clearly” from space, the ISS [International Space Station] has reported.

The collection of fires have been battling with firefighters since the hottest September on record last month, with each side taking prisoners and paying no heed to to Geneva Convention. The UN has condemned the fire’s use of the chemical weapon “smoke”, and its blatant disregard for civilian property and indeed lives. 

The firefighters have not escaped scrutiny either, with the UN reprimanding New South Wales Rural Fire Services Commissioner Shane Fitzsimmons for “attempted genocide”. The Commissioner has made no secret of his wish to eradicate all fire from the land, excepting slave fires kept in appalling conditions and to be used only when the firefighters call.

“We feared the fires would form one cohesive front” spat Fitzsimmons through smoke-blackened teeth “and have been trying to deny them the access all week. It seems though that the fires outsmarted us this time and have managed to link up after all. What really grills my shrimp is the propaganda victory this will be for the fires; I’d say that the forming of the words “fuck you” was no accident and we can expect to see more profanities appear throughout the week.”

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