ON THIS DAY: THE FIRST RECORDED MENTION OF ‘SMURFS’ IN WESTERN CIVILISATION

“Smurf the smurf, Smurfette! Smurf smurf smurf smurf the fall of the West and the end of time. Smurf.”

On October 23rd, 1958, ‘The Smurfs’ first appeared in the Belgian comic Spirour. From there, their rise to power has been meteoric, with many Smurfs now holding positions of power in governments throughout Europe and Asia. Their rise to power in the US has only been checked by anti-blue laws (or ‘Uncle Smurf’ laws), but Smurf advocators are keen to have established a Smurf in government by the late 2020s.

In 1958, following a rise in nuclear testing in the Western hemisphere, people were shocked to find running from the craters left by weapons testing little blue creatures. It later transpired that these creatures, far from being the victims of nuclear radiation – as was originally thought – actually inhabited nuclear weapons; nuclear technology was their natural homeland. At first, they were treated with hostility, leading to the first mention of them on the 23rd October 1958 being in an article entitled: “Smurfs – The Blue Menace.” However, as the century wore on, people became more accommodating to the little blue things and Smurfs enjoy civil liberties in many countries around the world today.

A sinister prophecy accompanies the Smurf’s rise to power, however. It is said that “On the Smurf of Smurf, when all Smurfs are Smurfing or Smurfed, the Great Smurf shall Smurf and brutally destroy all humans upon this good planet, except those who make it to Smurf Smurf by Smurf-fall.” Naturally, this enigmatic prophecy has left many philosophers dazed and confused by its cryptic tongue. The Smurfs, whenever asked, refuse to comment.

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