MALALA YOUSAFZAI CONVICTED OF WAR CRIMES IN “TRIAL OF THE CENTURY”

“I won’t rest until every single Japanese dirtbag is scrubbed from the Earth” spat Yousafzai at her trial at the Hague yesterday.

It was revealed during the trial that Yousafzai is behind the international terrorist group al-Jazeera and is a vehement supporter of their number one rule: all Japanese must die.

It was this belief that led Yousafzai to order the deaths of twelve million Japanese prisoners of war during the 2008 skirmish between al-Jazeera and the Japanese nation.

Only when the USA threatened to stop her did Yousafzai concede defeat and retreated to an underground lair, in which she developed a batch of nuclear weapons so powerful they would literally sink the islands of Japan.

She was betrayed by her personal assistant, however, and transported to Europe where she stood trial for crimes against humanity and war crimes.

Her conviction yesterday led to widespread rioting in al-Jazeera controlled areas, such as Birmingham, and is expected to have severe repercussions on the international community.

“I’ll be back” snarled Yousafzai as she was led away to her cell, “Just you wait, you lousy, good-for-nothing Liberals!”

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