END OF BRITISH SUMMERTIME THROWS WORLD INTO CHAOS

Clerical error sees time forever halted on 26th October 2013.

Daylight Saving Time was adopted by the UK during the First World War as a way of conserving coal; less darkness during working hours meant less energy was needed to light the streets. Although met with much backlash and criticism since then, it has nevertheless become a major part of modern lifestyle, with many a lonely person living only to celebrate each alteration of the clocks.

However, when the clocks were turned back last night a clerical error at Greenwich Observatory threw the world – and indeed the wider universe – into a time warp-esque chaos.

In a grave error of judgement, Professor Nicola Williams of the Greenwich Observatory, England, turned back the clocks at the stroke of midnight – rather than at 2am, when they are supposed to be turned back.

This resulted in the world being shunted backwards an hour, back into the 26th October. When midnight came again, Williams – following her solemn duty to turn back the clocks on the 27th October – turned them back another hour, throwing the world once more into the 26th October.

At the time of press, the world has been thrown back 10 times into ‘yesterday’, with no signs of stopping. Although experts are at Greenwich right now trying to stop the clocks from heading back yet again, it is The Oracle’s opinion that this error can never be reversed; that for all intents and purposes, time has stopped on the 26th October 2013.

May God have mercy on us all.

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