BREAKING NEWS: ANDY COULSON AND REBEKAH BROOKS DENY HAVING LEGS, ARMS

The Old Bailey heard today that Coulson and Brooks, who have denied knowing anything about the alleged phone hacking that took place while they were editors of the News of the World, have also denied possessing arms and legs.

The two defendants continued to deny being human, having any facial appendages, living in the UK, and being at court.

Coulson denied being called Coulson, and Brooks denied being called Brooks.

They went on to deny ever having been editors of the News of the World, with Brooks attesting she “doesn’t even know what a newspaper is”.

In other news, Barack Obama has denied being President of the United States, David Cameron has denied having black hair, and the population of Mexico have denied living south of the USA.

In the spirit of denial, The Oracle is now denying the fact it has a WordPress account.

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