As the trial of Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson (and other people who don’t really matter) enters its second day of hiatus, fake newspapers worldwide are having to search for alternative stories to fill their pages.
“It’s really quite awful” says The Daily Mash’s correspondent, Helen Hunt, “We’ve been forced to make redundancies that we never wanted to make. If this crisis continues for much longer, we might have to close down.”
And Now The News issued a statement lamenting the lack of stories about phone-hacking, saying that “it was a dark, dark time for satirists everywhere. Our thoughts are with their families.”
Mr Justice Saunders, the judge presiding over the case, has issued an apology for allowing court to be adjourned over the weekend.
“It was a selfish act, and I did not think of the international ripples it would create. I should have locked the courtroom doors and forced the lawyers to work around the clock, uncovering fresh new scandals with every waking moment.”
The Oracle regrets to inform its readers that until the trial is back on track, we may have to resort to publishing rehashed stories about plebgate and bitter opinion pieces about the Conservative Party.