BREAKING NEWS: RUNAWAY TEEN RETURNS HOME TO DEMAND NEWS NETWORKS USE A DIFFERENT PICTURE ON BULLETINS

Runaway teen Joseph Maguire returned home for the first time since he left 6 months ago to request that news companies stop using “that goofy-looking” picture of him on television.

Maguire, 15, hopes to be an actor when he is older and ascertains that the picture news networks are currently using “damages his chances of ever being on TV”.

The picture, taken when Maguire was 13, shows him in his school uniform beaming at the camera. Sporting pubescent acne and with noticeably unwashed hair, the young Maguire is also holding a Warhammer figurine up to the camera.

Joseph Maguire spoke to The Oracle this morning:

“I just can’t stand that people all over the world are seeing that picture of me. That was, like, a different time in my life. I’m not that weirdo anymore. I’m a cool kid now. I’m gonna be famous. Take that fricking picture off of the news or I’ll run away for good.”

Maguire is requesting that the news companies use a photo he had taken especially for the event. It features Maguire running away from an explosion with a beautiful woman in his arms.

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