BREAKING NEWS: DEMOCRACY “STILL EXISTS, APPARENTLY”

A recent study has shown that democracy “still exists”, despite overwhelming evidence and common sense to the contrary.

The study, carried out by scientists at Imperial college London, reveals “surprising results” according to chief scientist Professor Hal Ackor.

“We didn’t expect this test to produce such controversial results,” said the professor at an emergency press conference yesterday, “indeed, every fibre of our beings told us that democracy was dead. Yet, here the results are:” the professor frowned, scratching his head, “democracy still exists, apparently”.

Government around the world are said to have dismissed the results as “poppycock” and “lies and slander”, claiming that they will carry on acting as if democracy didn’t exist after all.

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