OLYMPIC TORCH SENT TO SPACE, SETS INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION AFIRE; COUNTLESS LIVES LOST

Thousands perished as the ISS, set aflame by the Olympic Torch that arrived there earlier today, crashed into Earth near Brussels.

The torch was sent up the ISS in what was meant to be a gesture of international goodwill and cooperation, but upon entering the cabin astronaut Anthony Dwert tripped and the torch flew out of his hand.

In what seemed like slow-motion, but was later to be clarified as no gravity, the torch flew towards a fuel tank that had been carelessly left out by someone. It set alight in a blast that ricocheted through the space station.

The ricochet was enough to knock the ISS out of orbit, and it fell through the atmosphere, gathering speed and end-of-the-worldocity. It crashed unto a small Belgian town near Brussels and killed at least 8000 people.

“This has taught us one thing” said the head of the Olympic Committee, “Never, ever, dare to hope.”

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