JOURNALISTS GO ON STRIKE OVER EXCESSIVE USE OF STAR WARS PUNS IN ARTICLES ABOUT BRISTOL AUDITIONS

Newspaper workers across the country have gone on strike after being asked to use an “inhumane” amount of puns in headlines about the Bristol Star Wars auditions taking place this week.

Journalists, printers, editors, paper boys, and cartoonists have all walked out in the first General Newspaper Strike this century.

“I just couldn’t do it, I just couldn’t” confessed one journalist who wishes to rename nameless, “my boss came to me with this headline – ‘These Aren’t the Actors You’re Looking For’ – and I just lost it. I told him to sod off and threw ink in his eye.”

The Bristol auditions are to be followed by ones in London, Manchester, and some other towns around the UK that we can’t be bothered to list. It is expected that the newspaper strike will continue over these audition dates in order to minimize more flagrant sci-fi play-on-words.

“If I have to write another interstellar pun” concluded the unnamed journalist, “I’m going to go to the Dark Side and kill my co-workers.”

“Darth Vader style”, he finished, narrowing his eyes in a somewhat terrifying fashion.

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