BREAKING NEWS: DAVID CAMERON REQUIRES SURGERY TO REMOVE HIS LIPS FROM CHINA’S ASS

The Prime Minister has apparently been “kissing China’s ass” so fervently, he now needs to be surgically extricated. 

The news comes after Cameron’s recent visit to China, in which he proposed at least 8 billion new trade agreements in an attempt to win Chinese investment in new British businesses.

While there, he also took a tour of famous Chinese landmarks, explored ancient Chinese artifacts, and apologised for Boris Johnson.

The main message that Cameron left behind for China, however, was one of servile kow-towing to a corrupt and materialistic regime in the vain hope that it will supplement his tattered government with much needed trade and kudos.

So fervent was Cameron’s worship of the Chinese Yuan that his lips became welded to its ass, and now need to be removed in a surgical procedure that is expected to be long and painful.

No world governments seem particularly bothered about Cameron’s imminent surgery, though multiple governments have expressed annoyance that Cameron has not apologised for Boris Johnson to their countries.

It is expected that when he makes a recovery, Cameron will do a world tour and apologise for Boris Johnson in over 150 countries.

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