The storms that have ravaged the British Isles these past few days have been blamed on a green, hairy, long-fingered villain who possesses a “Grinch-like” attitude to Christmas, a spokesperson for the Meteorological Office has said.
The storms, which have left 130,000 homes without power and ruined hundreds of Christmas travel plans, began last week and show little sign of clearing before the New Year.
It has now been revealed that the Meteorological Office can pinpoint the germination of the bad weather, and has found that it initially appeared on the top of a mountain above Whoville, Seussland, in the Arctic Circle.
Further study shows that not only did the weather originate at the top of the mountain, but it actually came from a super-villain-esque Bad Weather Machine.
A quick check of Whoville shop records reveals that the only Bad Weather Machine sold this year was to a Mr Grinch, who has a track record of interfering with Christmases. On this evidence, Interpol say that they are “sure beyond reasonable doubt” that this bad weather is the work of the Grinch.
It is expected that the bad weather will continue until Taylor Momsen can be tracked down and persuaded to star in a remake of How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Jim Carrey refused to comment.