The plant, one of the oldest nuclear power stations in the UK, asked all “non-essential” staff to stay home today as a precaution after an alarm was raised following a peak in radiation levels.
The CEO of the plant, Mr G. Butcher, told news teams that the alarm was “just a precautionary measure, and we do not expect anything drastic to come of these slightly raised levels of radiation”.
However, he was soon thrust thirty feet into the air as the ground swelled, broke, and exploded beneath him and a gigantic lizard leaped out of a steaming pit, claws waving in the air and grasping at any living thing in its range.
The lizard creature, nicknamed “Godzellafield”, then proceeded to rampage around the plant, destroying buildings and nuclear wastage containers in its wake. It then noticed it was on the West Cumbrian coast, sprouted wings and was last seen flying at high-speed towards London.
Approximately 80 tonnes of nuclear waste is now loose in the area around Sellafield, glowing a luminous green and wobbling slightly in a bizarre fashion.
Mr Butcher, who recovered from his fall, has made a statement assuring news reporters that the situation poses “no threat to the public or workers of the plant, and we’re sure the whole thing will soon be forgotten about.”
Experts are watching the still-smoking hole in the ground from which the creature appeared, in the hope that enough creatures may appear so that Britain can finally make a decent monster movie.