MALAYSIAN JET REPORTED TO HAVE “GONE LOOKING FOR PUTIN’S LEGAL RIGHT TO BE IN UKRAINE”

“Could be gone for decades,” sources say.

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The missing Malaysian jet plane, flight number MH370, has reportedly gone to find any legal or moral precedent for Russian President Vladimir Putin’s intervention in the Ukrainian region of the Crimea.

Diverted from its normal flight pattern three days ago, the passenger plane has since been off radar and no traces of it have been found – despite claims that debris could be seen in the ocean. Relatives of the 239 passengers on board had been warned to “expect the worst”.

However, new evidence has been released today showing that the jet plane has been diverted by order from the UN to go in search for any ‘real’ claim Russia has to any part of the Ukraine.

“We sent three UN inspectors to board the plane on Saturday, in order to direct the pilot as best they could to find Putin’s legal rights for this invasion of the Crimea,” said UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, “but so far they have had no luck. It may be that the plane will be gone for decades searching for some legal or moral right Putin has to seize portions of another country.”

Reports say that the plane has already flown straight past the airspaces of “Democratic Right”, “Moral Right”, and “Legal Right”, and is now headed straight for “Good Ol’ Nationalism and Imperialism” in an attempt to see if any motives lie there.

“While Putin can claim that the invasion of Ukraine is a completely democratic effort, we have already got feedback from flight MH370 saying that there is no mention of Russia in the airspace of “Democratic Right” – indeed, there has been no mention of Russia in that particular airspace for decades,” continued Ban Ki-moon.

“As soon as the plane finds any legal right Russia has to the Crimea that isn’t tainted by the fact they marched in there with armed soldiers, it will be sent back,” he concluded.

Experts say that the passengers and crew of MH370 are most definitely “in for the long haul”.

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