FARAGE JUST GOES RIGHT AHEAD AND PISSES ON AUDIENCE

UKIP Leader Nigel Farage urinates on BBC audience at election debate, kills puppy.

Last night’s Challengers Debate was brought to an abrupt end when Nigel Farage, leader of UKIP, whapped out his genitals and took a piss on the television audience.

Incensed at the red flags being waved by the lefty intelligentsia that filled the studio, Farage decided that only a good dose of common-sense poli-piss would dampen the flames of communism that were threatening to burn down this green and pleasant land.

“Even by BBC standards, you lot really are anarchist kiddie-killers”, whispered Farage as he slowly undid his flies in front of David Dimbleby’s face, before wrenching out his penis and soaking the lefty-liberal media stooges with his urine.

The other debaters – Ed Miliband, Nicola Sturgeon, Natalie Bennett, and Leanne Wood – watched in horror as Farage’s urine caused the Stalinist audience to burst into black flames and scream Billy Bragg songs in Polish.

Before long, the entire audience had been reduced to a smouldering pile of ash that, reforming itself into Aneurin Bevan, picked up Leanne Wood and marched her off stage to go kill the queen.

Farage then stared directly into the cameras as he raised a small albino puppy. “I’m coming for you, Juncker”, he sang in a falsetto, before crushing the puppy in one hand.

A snap poll taken at the end of the debate put Miliband and Farage neck-and-neck on a 32% approval rate.

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UKIP CANDIDATE TWEETS ENTIRE CONTENTS OF “MEIN KAMPF”

William Henwood, UKIP candidate, defends tweets as “not racist”.

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Henwood, who is standing for council election in this year’s European elections has tweeted the entire contents of Adolf Hitler’s ‘Mein Kampf’ – a cornerstone work of the German Nazi Party, written while Hitler was in prison in Bavaria.

William Henwood took to the social media site today following allegations that previous tweets of his – suggesting that Lenny Henry should go to a “black country” – were “vile racism”.

He has also previously used Twitter to compare Islam to the Third Reich: “Islam reminds me of the 3rd Reich Strength through violence against the citizens.”

He has defended these past tweets, saying that they were “not offensive”. However, Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt said on BBC Radio 5 Live that the tweets were “absolutely disgusting”.

Henwood’s decision to respond to these allegations of racism by tweeting the entire contents of ‘Mein Kampf’ has been met with staunch opposition and bewilderment from across the political spectrum.

In response to one tweet: “Was there any shady undertaking, any form of foulness, especially in cultural life, in which at least one Jew did not participate?”, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg said “wtf are you doing, son?”

A later tweet discussing the pros and cons of offering Christian teachings to “the negro” was retweeted by UKIP Party Leader Nigel Farage, along with the annotation: “Bloody hell Bill, were u in that plane crash too?!? Sort ur head out.”

However, Mr Henwood has shown no signs of “sorting his head out”: with tweets limited to 140 characters, his mission to tweet the entire contents of Mein Kampf will take him hours if not days to complete; despite the evident enthusiasm with which he is tackling the challenge.

A UKIP party spokesman has said of Henwood’s actions: “Every party has at least one maverick. Bill will sort himself out in the end.”

More on this story as it develops.