Witnesses say request was issued on behalf of “the lads”.



Jess Roberts, who cannot be named for legal reasons, received the entreaty late Saturday night outside a Wetherspoons in Bradford, England.

She was smoking outside the entrance to the chain pub when a group of men across the street issued a formal request for Ms Roberts to “get her tits out”.

The men then repeated this request three times, before reminding Ms Roberts that such an action should be done “for the lads”, if that wasn’t already apparent.

It is claimed that Ms Roberts’ compliance would have rewarded the group of men with a temporary ego- and testosterone-boost, before they realised how shallow and unworthy their existence really is.

However, say experts, this revelation would not have bothered the men for long, as they would probably soon issue another appeal for upper-body nudity only moments later, and in the process bury thoughts of inadequacy deep down.

Eye-witnesses applauded the delivery of the request, calling it a “gutsy, back-to-basics, grassroots chant”, reminiscent of “a neanderthal hunting cry”.

However, others were not so impressed, with Mr Frank Jamieson writing a scathing review of it in The Telegraph, in which he called it “unoriginal, uninspired, and untidy.” Mr Jamieson awarded it 2/5 stars.

Ms Roberts did not acquiesce to the solicitation, and instead retired back inside the door of Wetherspoons. It is expected that she will deliver a full statement some time this week.